


Don't Say This Won’t Last Forever

by Anderwarbler



Series: Too Close Too Much [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Forbidden Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 18:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13082703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anderwarbler/pseuds/Anderwarbler
Summary: (Part Three) Sebastian’s 26, Blaine is 17 they both had to know that no matter how deeply they felt for one another, this wasn’t going to last.





	Don't Say This Won’t Last Forever

“Tell me what you want me to say.”

A deep wrinkle settles into the shorter’s brow as he looks at the man in front of him, his golden eyes are damp with a thin layer of tears as his arms cross loosely over his chest. “What I want you to say?” His voice is soft, the tone of losing all hope strong. “If I have to tell you what to say, Sebastian, then it means nothing.”

The taller Warbler runs his hands through his sandy brown hair with an exasperated huff, placing his hands on his hips, his slender fingers curling around the denim belt loops. “Of course it doesn't mean nothing, Blaine. Of course it means _everything--_ _you_ mean everything.”

A watery scoff falls from Blaine’s lips and he hastily wipes at his tears, shaking his head. “If I mean everything then we wouldn’t be having this conversation-- we would be on the way to your place. You’d be holding me, kissing me. We’d be leaving here _together._ ”

“It’s not that easy!” Sebastian’s voice raises only slightly, the frustration of the situation making his insides buzz with conflict. “I can’t just leave Hunter here and leave with you-- you’re _seventeen,_ Blaine.”

The younger’s fingers curl into a fist so tight that his nails almost puncture the skin of his palms. He’s tired of his age being thrown in his face, he regrets ever taking the tests needed to skip out on high school to go straight to college, he regrets moving to New York, he regrets taking Hunter Clarington’s class. If he would have just stayed in Ohio, none of this would’ve happened. He never would have run into Sebastian on that cold, dreary day and he wouldn’t have this sharp, ache in his chest. “I know- I _know._ Okay? I know I’m seventeen, I know I’m too young. I know you’re practically married to Hunter-- I know, I know, _I know._ I keep hearing it. From you-- from my best friend, from myself. I know it’s not easy and I know it’s really risky and it’s difficult.” Blaine’s heart pounds against his chest rapidly as he stands there in front of Sebastian, his heart completely open and on the floor. “I’m in love with you, Sebastian. Love isn’t easy-- it’s not and I know that I’m young but I know for sure that I feel these deep, _real_ feeling for you and it isn’t just going t go away. It’s not something I can just let go and pretend doesn’t exist.” His voice shakes around every word that leaves his lips. Placing his hands on his own chest, the shorter shakes his head. “I can’t sit in Hunter’s class anymore-- I dropped it because I can’t be in the same room with him anymore. It makes me nauseous.”

“Blaine…”

“No, Sebastian. _No._ You can’t just stand there and pretend that I’m the only one feeling this way. You can’t just act like there’s nothing between you and me-- that you don’t feel what I feel when you look at me or touch me.” Blaine takes a step closer, reaching to wrap his fingers around Sebastian’s wrists, bringing the older’s hands up to press them against his chest. “You feel it. You love me, too.”

Sebastian’s green eyes gaze intently into Blaine’s as they begin to water now, he knows that Blaine can see right through him, he knows that Blaine is young but he isn’t stupid-- Blaine knows that Sebastian is in love with him, too. He fell in love with the younger man the day they met and he’s plagued his mind since. But it isn’t as simple as just letting himself feel those emotions and admitting it to Blaine. “So? So what if I do? What comes next, huh? I break things off with Hunter and you and I move in together and live happily ever after?” He doesn’t mean for his tone to be so cold but he can’t help it. “I am nine years older than you, B. _Nine._ That isn’t some small age difference that can just be overlooked. I don’t--” He stops himself, shaking his head. _Don’t_ isn’t the right word to use. Because he does. “I _can’t_ love you.”

After a long moment of no words spoken-- just the two of them gazing into one another’s eyes, searching and pleading for the answers and the comfort that neither could supply-- Blaine is the first one to break the silence. WIth another scoff and a shake of his head, the shorter lets go of Sebastian to put more space between them once more. “Whatever, Sebastian. I give up.” Is all he says as he turns to leave the room; he’s done.

Sebastian feels his fingers tremble, every fiber of his being is screaming to reach out to Blaine, to stop him. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows it’s best for both of them if he just lets him walk out the door and if they never see each other again. He knows that if this goes any further, if he plays with this fire any longer they’re both going to get burnt-- seeing the hurt in Blaine's eyes kills him and shakes his very core and he wonders if getting burnt would be so bad as long as it means they’re together.

But that’s just the thing-- they can’t be together. Maybe in some other life, or even had they met a few years down the line, maybe they could be. But in this moment and time it wasn't possible.

In spite of the better part of his brain setting off the alarms that told him not to do exactly what it is that he wants to do-- Sebastian moves quickly to stop Blaine from leaving the room, gently grabbing his wrist and spinning him around. Pressing the younger against the mahogany door, Sebastian’s arm snakes around his waist to hold him close, his other hand cupping Blaine’s cheek. A shaky breath leaves the older’s mouth as he looks into Blaine’s eyes, showing him that he absolutely isn’t alone in his feelings. “Blaine, you know how I feel about you. I know that you feel it.” His voice is soft, only loud enough for his young lover to hear.

Blaine’s forehead wrinkles again, this time with sadness as he melts against Sebastian’s hold. “Seb..” His whispers are pleading, as if he’s dying-- hanging off a cliff and barely hanging on and all he needs is for Sebastian to take his hand and pull him up. Leaning his face into the man’s touch, his stomach twists with sadness. He knows. “It isn’t fair…”

“No, it isn’t. It isn’t fair at all.” The taller shakes his head before resting their foreheads together, his green eyes closing tight. They share a few moments of silence, the room and the entire world around them so silent it’s almost deafening. They both know that this moment is the last moment they can spend together like this, or even at all. Tears roll down the younger’s cheeks through his tight-lidded eyes, feeling every single bit of the pain as his heart slowly cracks, breaking into hundreds of tiny pieces. “I love you, Blaine.”

A soft sob falls from Blaine’s lips as he nods, his hand gripping at Sebastian’s wrist, his other hand on the other’s side, fingers curling tightly around the fabric of his shirt.  “I love you-- I love you so much.” His voice is needy and quiet as the space between them closes and their lips crash together in a goodbye kiss that could only be described as _desperate_. It’s a goodbye kiss for the history books as the two cling to one another for dear life as all of their feelings for each other pour out through the kiss, fires sparking beneath their lips and rushing violently through their bodies. The way they both feel when they kiss, every single time, was that of the way you feel for someone who belongs to you-- your person, your _soulmate._

Unfortunately for them they have no way of knowing if they’ll ever see each other after this moment; they might meet again somewhere down the line and the timing may be perfect for them both or they could never see one another again and this is it.

Sharing shaky breaths as their kiss comes to an end, their foreheads resting against each other again, Blaine’s voice quivers as he speaks again. “I don’t want to say goodbye..”

“Then don’t. Don’t say anything else. Just...tell me that you love me again and we’ll leave it at that.” Sebastian whispers, a shrug pulling at one of his shoulders as he caresses the young man’s cheek with his thumb.

Blaine’s honey eyes flutter open to look at the love of his life one last time and he shakes his head once-- he feels broken, lost. “What am I supposed to do?” He asks instead, causing the older to close his eyes and shake his head in response. Blaine knows, he knows that Sebastian just wants to hear the words again so he can tell Blaine again-- he knows that he wants those words to be the last thing they say to each other. “I love you, Sebastian.” He finally says after another long moment of silence, punctuating his confession with a slow, tender kiss before lifting up from the door and slipping out to rejoin the crowd of college students who had gathered at one of the local piano bars in the city for an annual Christmas party. Sebastian and Blaine had disappeared behind a storage closet’s door to talk with one another when they met up.

“I love you, too, Blaine.” Sebastian places his hand on the door as Blaine leaves, looking down to the ground as a single tear falls, splashing against his shoes as the words roll off his tongue. “Goodbye.”

Hesitating for a moment outside the closet, Blaine looks at the door that now separates him and the man he’s desperately in love with and he knows when that door doesn’t open-- he knows that it’s over.  “Goodbye, Seb.” The younger whispers, not having heard the older say it himself, before he disappears into the crowd towards the exit.  



End file.
